NBA players are the most physically gifted freaks of nature on the planet.  They are, for the most part, hard-working, driven, intense, and talented.  The majority of NBA players spend hours upon hours in the off-season honing their craft and improving their games.  That is why it always astounds me that a good portion of them can't shoot.  Wide open, covered, it doesn't matter.  Some of them couldn't crap in the bowl if they were sitting on it.  I counted it up, and there are 37 players in the NBA who shoot at least 1 3-pointer per game, but connect on less than 31.0% percent of their shots.  That is just awful shooting.  That being said, there is a rare group of chuckers who feel the need to not only shoot at least 1, but 2 three-pointers per game even though they shoot less than 31% .  I submit to you, the masons of the association, the All-NBA Brick Layer Team.

ALL NBA BRICKLAYER HONORABLE MENTION

Luke Ridnour, Milwaukee Bucks
3pt/3pta: 35/116
3pt%: 30.2
Everyone knows Luke is a bad shooter, and is wondering if he has naked pictures of Scott Skiles mother.  Why else would he be starting over Ramon Sessions for most of the season.  Luke has the balls to shoot 2.4 threes a game. 

Wilson Chandler, New York Knicks
3pt/3pta: 56/186
3pt%: 30.5
Chandler is only honorable mention because his coach actually encourages him to shoot.  His teammate, Nate Robinson should be on this list, but escaped by one bricked shot (31.1%).  Wilson Chandler sounds like the name for some white indie rock singer, but alas, it isn't.  It's the name of a guy who needs to scoot in a few damned feet. 

ALL NBA BRICKLAYER 2ND TEAM

DeShawn Stevenson, Washington Wizards
3pt/3pta: 35/129
3pt%: 27.1
Stevenson was a nearly 40% the last two seasons, but then he had to open his dumb mouth and call LeBron James overrated.  The basketball Gods didn't like that, it seems, as Stevenson has basically crapped his pants since then.  The worst part is that Stevenson refuses to believe that his shot has betrayed him as he continues to shoot over 4 per game. Underage ladies of the DC area, beware, DeShawn is probably feeling down and wants some company. 

Bobby Jackson, Sacramento Kings
3pt/3pta: 37/125
3pt%: 29.6
Bobby has made a nice little career of streaky shooting, but this year it seems like he's realized he's on the Kings again, but Chris Webber and Vlade Divac aren't.  It's like he said "screw it, who else is going to shoot, Bobby Brown?" Also, how old is this guy?  Older than hell, Boyd.

Ricky Davis, Los Angeles Clippers
3pt/3pta: 27/91
3pt%: 29.6
Don't be fooled by the attempts total into thinking that Ricky isn't shooting as much as the other guys on this list.  No, he's hoisted that many shots in 29 games (3 per game).  Ricky may only be 29, but he's looking like he's 49.  I know he's been hurt for a good chunk of the season, but I could shoot 29% if people were leaving me as open as they are Ricky.  And I'm not kidding. 

Andre Iguodala, Philadelphia 76'ers
3pt/3pta: 43/149
3pt%: 28.9
AI seems like a smart player, but he's not smart enough to realize he should stop shooting 3's.  Guess what his favorite metal is? Iron.  If I could get an amazing dunk 3/4 of the time I drove to the basket, do you think I'd go lady style and jack up 3's like Andre? No.  I'd be teabagging fools like it was going out of style.  No way is this guy worth the money they pay him.  Believe it or not, he isn't the worst offender on his team. 

Louis Williams, Philadelphia 76'ers
3pt/3pta: 40/141
3pt%: 28.4
Add the numbers of AI and Sweet Lou together and you get a steaming pile of turd.  The two of them combine for nearly 6 attempts a game.  Those are six attempts that blind kids could probably shoot just as well if you pointed them in the right direction. (and yes that is a picture of a blind lady shooting a free throw. I'm going to Hell.)  Shooting that percentage does not keep the defense honest guys, it keeps them laughing.  At you. 

ALL NBA BRICKLAYER 1ST TEAM

Dwayne Wade, Miami Heat
3pt/3pta: 44/157
3pt%: 28.0
Wade shoots 51% on all non-3pt attempts.  So of course, it makes logical sense that he shoot 3 attempts per game from behind the arc.  Wade has become a master mason from deep, despite having a few teammates who can actually shoot it well.  I know his team is sucktastic, and I know Wade takes a pounding, but if he just took those 3 shots and drove them to the basket, I'd bet he'd make one, get fouled on another, and miss one. 

LeBron James, Cleveland Cavaliers
3pt/3pta: 70/232
3pt%: 30.2
James is surrounded by good shooters, but that doesn't stop him from indiscriminately jacking up trash whenever he wants to. He makes just enough of his 3's that he thinks it is okay to keep shooting.  I can't fathom how he justifies shooting 4.5 threes a game to Coach Brown.  Oh wait, he doesn't have to.  The worst part is that all of the 3's he shoots seem to be heavily contested.  If LeBron never shot another three in his life, that would be good and would basically seal the NBA championship for his team.  We know that won't happen, and neither will the title, most likely because LeBron is too busy adding to his bricklaying resume.  Ask any Celtics fan, last year in the playoffs we almost shat our pants every time LeBron started driving.  When he shot 3's, we breathed a collective sigh of relief. 

Corey Maggette, Golden State Warriors
3pt/3pta: 14/71
3pt%: 19.3
That isn't a typo. Maggette is actually shooting 19 percent from behind the stripe. Look,  I know Don Nelson encourages a free-flowing offense, but gadzooks, man.  STOP SHOOTING 3'S! If I were Maggette's teammate, I would leave a little piece of dog poo on his locker room chair for every three he took.  I would send him a video challenging him to a fight if he didn't stop shooting them.  If none of that worked, I would cut off his right hand. (he couldn't shoot much worse left-handed.)

Raymond Felton, Charlotte Bobcats
3pt/3pta: 38-125
3pt%: 30.6
I can't stand this guy, and I think I know why: because he's a lousy shooter and looks like he's got a mild case of tard.  How Larry Brown can't reign this guy in is beyond me.  Everytime you turn around, there's Ray, hucking another brick towards the basket.  We're lucky the backboards are sturdy, because Felton threatens to break them with every shot he hoists. 

Baron Davis, Los Angeles Clippers
3pt/3pta: 61/217
3pt%: 28.1
I would guess that Davis is trying to get Mike Dunleavy fired, but it just isn't that obvious.  See, Davis has been shooting like this his whole career, averaging over 5 attempts per game for his career.  The way Davis shoots it makes Antione Walker look like a marksman.  Davis is the most overrated, overpaid, over hyped player  I've ever seen.  He's always hurt, has been fat for half of his career, and doesn't seem to really care about anything but jacking up wild 3's, trying to be the hero.  Enjoy the next 4 years of it, Clipper Fan, it ain't getting better. 

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