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I'm Handicapped
Written by Taylor   
Friday, 20 March 2009 01:28
I wrote a pretty awesome piece about Shaq earlier this week that was to be posted on Tuesday, but I’m completely retarded and I accidentally deleted it after about an hour of work. Because I don’t have enough time to do it again, here are five minutes worth of random thoughts from the sports world.

 

I live in Utah, so I’m around a lot of Denver Broncos fans (most of them are completely retarded as well). It seems that for Broncos fan, this whole Jay Cutler saga is like a severe jock itch that you just can’t get rid of without doing the pinch and roll.

Hearing the ESPN SportsCenter anchors continually refer to assists as "helpers" is getting old really fast.

I’ve been on the “Kobe is the best basketball player on the planet” bandwagon for a few years now. I mentioned earlier this year that LeBron is making me rethink my position. So is Dwyane Wade.

Does anyone else think Chris Paul is the best point guard since Magic Johnson? I’d take Paul over John Stockton in a heartbeat. Except for the Crocodile Hunter shorts that Stockton wore. I’d take those.

Boyd is right about Baron Davis – he’s completely overrated. He’s averaging 6 less ppg this year and is shooting 37% from the field. Good investment, Clipper fan.

Marshawn Lynch is the ugliest man in sports.

Watching the Cavs and Celtics get banged up as they race for the best record in the league is pissing me off. The season is too effing long!

 

My letter to Donte Stallworth:

 

Donte,

Congratulations on killing someone with your Bentley. Most of us can’t afford one and will never have that opportunity. Well done.

Sincerely,

 

T-Bone

Comments (4)Add Comment
...
written by Oklahoma in the Final Four, March 20, 2009
T-Bone,

Short, but well done.

Sincerely,


Sooner Fan
...
written by Che, March 20, 2009
Good referal to the pinch and roll manuevre, it was not lost on me,

Baron von Otto
...
written by d m, March 21, 2009
Yo bro, nice work.
check out this sports/comedy site. maybe we can trade links.
http://www.dailyballbreakers.com/

-Roger Clemens attorney
...
written by Wonderful, March 22, 2009
That letter to Donte was brilliant. I actually did the pinch and roll while I read it.

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busy
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