So many people love the NFL Draft.  They devour everylittle piece of information about the players in the first couple of rounds like a fat kid eating an Idaho Spud(which, by the way, would rank barely below Big Cherry for the worst convenience store candy item ever. Even Circus Peanuts are better.) They study anybody that their team may draft.  They get on message boards and trade ideas with fellow draft nerds. And then you have your guys who take it to a whole other level like Mel Kiper, Jr. and Todd McShay, guys that tell you every little nauseating detail about the top guys: This guy has good hip swivel, this guy lacks top end speed, this guy has a character issue, Tim Tebow likes to do it Missionary style in the Philipines, yadda, yadda, yadda. By the end of the process you probably know more about many draft prospects than you do about your wife and children. 

It's safe to say that the guys who get drafted have gone through some intense scrutiny.  What if your work held a draft?  How would you be judged? What would be the criteria that the heads of your field would judge you on? I was at 7-11 the other day, and this thought came to me: What does it really take to be a cashier there?  And what if 7-11, Circle K, Chevron, and Philip's 66 got together and drafted the candidates for their positions, NFL style? How would that go down?  Maybe like this?

Chris Berman:Welcome everybody to the Gas Station Employee Draft 2009, here on ESPN.  The scouts have put in their time, the company's boards are filled, and we are ready to get going.  With me as always, draft experts Mel Kiper, Jr., and Todd McShay.

Kiper: Thanks, Chris.  When it comes to this Gas Station Draft, everybody agrees on who should go number one: Enrique Munoz out of Cortez High School in Phoenix, Arizona.  Enrique has declared early, after only finishing his sophomore year, but scouts and assistant managers agree, this guy has all of the tools necessary to run a Gas Station.  Munoz has already worked a shift at the local gas station on weekends for the past 2 years, so it's not like this is his first trip around the block. 

McShay: Exactly, Mel.  Munoz shows excellent ability to keep a balanced till, and has otherwordly mopping skills.  The only real question mark is if he can make the jump from running a simple snow cone machine to the Slurpee/I-Cee machines he'll face at the next level.  I don't think this will be a problem has Munoz has shown good Gas Station IQ at an early age. 

Berman:Thanks guys, and now coming to the podium to announce the first pick, Roger Goodell.

Goodell:With the first pick in the 2009 Gas Station Draft, 7-11 picks Enrique Munoz out of Cortez High School.

(Crowd erupts)

Berman:Well, no surprise there, guys.

McShay: Not at all.  I know 7-11 had a bad year last year, got robbed a number of times, and had a lot of problems with cleanliness, but Munoz solves these problems, and in a big way. He really learned how to pack heat from his years in a youth gang, and like I said, he is phenomenal with a mop and bucket.  7-11 has to be really happy on a day like this.

Berman:Indeed.  And now we'll go to Erin Andrews at 7-11 draft headquarters with 7-11 CEO, Joseph M. DePinto.

Andrews:Mr. DePinto, you've put a lot of work into this draft, how does it feel now that it's over?

DePinto:It feels great.  We think that Qique will be a huge addition to the chain. He just has so much upside that if the assistant managers can just learn to mold him and tutor him, he could be at lower level management in a matter of 6-7 years if he also finishes high school.  We're very excited. 

Andrews: Thanks and congratulations.  Back to you, Chris. 

Chris:Commissioner Goodell is at the podium.

Goodell: With the second pick in the 2009 Gas Station Draft, Circle K picks Michael Allen, out of Los Angeles Community College

Kiper:This is, to me, a little bit of a reach by Circle K.  I know that Allen has 1semester of community college under his belt, but there are still some maturity issues out there.  He still lives with his Mom, has never owned or possessed a gun, and has only worked in Pizza Delivery in the past.  I thought they would go with a Juan Jose Rivera or maybe even a Habib Wahad.  To me, those are safer picks.

McShay:I agree 100 percent, Mel.  Although Allen did score a 14 on the Wonderlich, which was by far the best score in the draft, he's seen as someone who has really maxed out his potential.  The other major downer, he only speaks English, and in this industry, you have to be bilingual at least.  I also hear that he's holding out for 8 bucks an hour, and in this economy, I just don't think he can get much more than minimum wage.  Maybe if he were the number one pick, but still, probably not. I'm going to go out on a limb and predict that Circle K is going to regret this for a few weeks until some other kid, preferably a teenager applies. 

Berman: So, the plot thickens.  Where do you see Chevron going?

McShay: Hard to say. In my last mock draft I had Chevron taking Juan Jose Rivera, but my sources on the inside are now telling me they have a dark horse.  He wouldn't name names, but he said I may be surprised.

Berman: Interesting.  Let's go to the podium.

Goodell:With the 3rd pick in the 2009 Gas Station Draft, Chevron picks Rick Mirer, out of the University of Notre Dame.

Berman:  I am speechless

Kiper:  This is coming totally out of left field, guys, but it just might work. Mirer, who has been out of NFL football since 2004, has apparently fallen on some hard times.  He could use the 7 bucks an hour, and this is a guy who, when he's right, can really get it going.  I had heard some whisperings that Mirer was going to sneak into the 1st round after learning some basic Spanish, but I never had him at 3rd.

McShay:I don't like this pick at all, Mel.  Mirer is even more poorly equipped to run a Gas Station than he was to be an NFL quarterback, and that is saying something.  Rumor is he has minor dyslexia, which will probably cause him to have an unbalanced till more often than not.  Also, many GM's saw him as desperate and aggressive.  He could hurt this franchise more than he did the Chicago Bears. 

Kiper:I disagree.  I like his motor, and I like his hand to eye coordination, which will really help in stocking potato chips and putting up ads in hard to reach places. 

Berman:We'll just have to see how it plays out. Let's go to the podium, apparently, we have a trade.

Goodell:There is a trade to announce.  Philip's 66 has traded the 4th pick to Shell for a crate of Funyun's and Muncho's, 3 12-packs of Coors Light, and 6 wood pallets.

Kiper: A steal!  There is just no way Philip's 66 was going to get that kind of value at 4. 

McShay:I agree, Mel.  Funyun's and Munchos are simply delicious, especially when paired with a diet soda, like a Mountian Dew or a Diet Coke.

AND SO ON. 

Anyway, you could see where this goes.  Please, if you enjoyed this, write a brief little comment about what you do, and what the criteria for your occupation's draft would be, and how you would fit into those criteria. 

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