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Yesterday I was looking at one of my favorite sites Hot Clicks, and found a link to an article by FanIQ about The 15 Worst Basketball Jerseys Of All Time. While the list was impressive and had some hidious examples of unfortunate jersy design from around the globe, I felt that I could come up with 15 even uglier examples without even leaving the annals of the NBA. So check it out, the Jockstrap's 15 Ugliest Basketball Jerseys Of All Time NBA Edition.
15. 1996 All-Star Jersey
FanIQ talked a little about the hidiousness of the All Star Game Jersey, but the 1996 version was by far the ugliest thing the league has ever run out there for the midseason classic. I think that is a chili pepper kicking a basketball, surrounded by some silver stars. And of course you can't go wrong with the teal and orange color combination can you? Michael Jordan must have been devistated when he walked into the locker room and saw this thing hanging there with his name and number all over it. Shame on you gay-clothing-designer guy who the NBA hired to design this monstrosity. A chili pepper? Really?
14, 13, 12. Almost Every Cleveland Cavalier Jersey Ever Made.
The 1999 Cleveland Jersey that FanIQ had was nice, but take a look at these Cavalier mistakes from the past and the present. The Cavs should have peronally appologized to each of the players when they handed these things out.
"We're sorry Austin Carr, but we had a lot of extra material laying around from when Ringling Brothers came through the Q, and this is the best we could come up with. And yep, sorry in advance LeBron but we are going to bust these same jerseys out when you're on our squad in the future, but in burgandy instead of yellow."
  
11. Golden State "The City" Jersey
I don't know if these bad boys are a throw-back jersey or if they are a new idea, but whatever the case may be the players should have staged a protest when they saw this masterpiece of clothing design. I'm not quite sure what "the City" even means, but I'm pretty sure once the players got to the end of the tunnel with these things on and realized that they acctully had to step out in front of the fans and take their warm-up off, "the City" came to mean "the city I wish I never got my ass traded to so I had to wear these awful jeserys and play with that chucker Baron Davis."
10. GSOM (Golden State of Mind) Jerseys
These are similar to "The City" jerseys, but just a little bit worse. GSOM is the stupidest thing I've ever heard of (if GSOM is a charity for starving children, or diseased old people, or something like that I appologize, but these jerseys are ugly regardless of the cause to which they are attached). The silhouette on the front I assume is two guys doing a back bump after a successful basket, but it looks like one guy has a second set of legs growing out of his back. The colors couldn't be worse and my Golden State of Mind would feel like running up into the crowd and starting a riot. This feeling might just be attributed to Stephen Jackson being in the picture, but I think the jersey has something to do with my rage too.
9. Retro Pacers Jerseys
 
I've never liked any basketball jersey with a pinstripe and the other jersey is just plain boring. The horizontal strip across the chest is only going to make some of your more husky players (read Oliver Miller, Tractor Traylor, et al.) look even fatter than they already are. Believe me that nobody wants their man boobs highlighted by uniform design.
8. Charlotte Hornets
Again with the crappy pinstripes. Would someone please tell every professional sports franchise that the pinstripes belong to the Yankees and the Yankees alone. I hated the Charlotte Hornets growing up and I think it is because of these horrible uniforms. Why do so many expansion teams feel it necessary to use the teal color so much. The Hornets don teal, the Jazz changed to a teal mountain scene jersey that was the worst decison they ever made, including drafting Kris Humphries over Al Jefferson, and the Tampa Bay Devil Rays in MLB went with the teal upon entering major league baseball. The Jaxksonville Jaguars of the NFL broke the teal jerseys out when they entered the league. WHY? Please learn from the past, future expansion franchises, teal is not a good color. Alonzo Mourning couldn't even make this gear look good and he is an unfettered Adonis.
7. Charlotte Bobcats
Not to be outdone by their Charlotte Hornet predecessors the Bobcats came up with this horrific design. What is up with the NASCAR finishline flag pattern running down the sides (by the way, that pattern was on the sides of the shorts too, only making it more embarrassing for the players who had to wear them.)? I see nothing Charlottey or Bobcatty about this jersey, but I do see a whole lot of crappy.
6. 1971-72 Atlanta Hawks
This disaster was worn by the late great "Pistol" Pete Maravich. I don't know who "Bells" is but I think it is kind of awesome that your jersey would have quotation marks and a nickname on it, even when said jersey looked like the Hawks' uniforms did in 1971. This lime green is possibly a worse color than teal, but they are in a neck and neck race to the finishline, that is for certain. Poor Pistol Pete, blessed with such great court vision, yet cursed to have to look for these baby-poo colored jerseys with this great gift. What a shame.
5. Utah Jazz Green Music Note Jerseys
Is there a worse color combination than green and yellow? Perhaps green and mustard? I used to think that the "J" music note was great when I was a kid, but over the years I have discovered that it was not great, not great in the least. In fact it was lame. There is not a big Jazz music scene in Salt Lake City, Utah. In fact, there is not a Jazz scene at all. I don't even know if there is a single person who even likes Jazz. Just as there are not many Lakes in Los Angeles, but I digress. Maybe the Jazz and the Lakers should just switch names so that everthing would make more sense. I feel bad that Adrian Dantley had to wear these uniforms just like I feel bad that everybody in the 80s had to wear short shorts.
4. Phila 76ers Jersey
It's like my five-year-old got out her crayons and designed a jersey for the NBA. Because she is only five she probably doesn't know how to spell Philadelphia so "Phila" might have to do. Plus she doesn't like to over complicate things so maybe just making the jersey half red and half blue would be best. Are you kidding me? Did somebody actually get paid to put this thing together? Wait, I've got an idea. How about the word "Sixers" written across the chest, but we dot the "I" with a star? Oh, we've already done that before? Nevermind then.
3. Bullets Jersey

"That's right Wes Unsled, it says "Bullets" across your chest and the double "L's" are actually...wait for it...two hands reaching up for a rebound! Can you believe it? Outstanding, right?"
Can a team located in Philadephia or Washington DC try something besides the American Flag icon? Anything will do unless you change your name to the Wizards and try out a shiny gold fabric that seems to make Gilbert Arenas get hurt a lot.
2. Tie-Dyed New Jersey Nets, 1990-91

I don't even really know what to say here. WOW!
1. Milwaukee Bucks Greatest/Worst Jersey Ever
This is sooooo bad that it might be good. I'm not sure whether I would want to hide in the locker room or if I'd want to strut around the court wearing this thing. That Buck looks both angry and majestic, crappy and magnicificent. Purple and almost any color look bad together, but perhaps the Milwaukee brass have nailed this thing. But then again, maybe not.
So that's it. The 15 ugliest NBA jersey's of all time. Just some food for thought. If you want to talk truely, disgustingly ugly jerseys, you have to hit the baseball diamond. Trust me.
  
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