Over the years there have been many incidents on the field of play that have caused fans to curse the name of the offending athlete. Don’t believe me?Just mention the name Bill Buckner anywhere in the Boston area and see what happens. The surest way to get me to want to punch you in the throat is to talk about how good a coach Rick Pitino is. Burn in hell for the tailspin into which you thrust my beloved Boston Celtics, Rick. Burn in hell. I hate Pitino more than I hate Kenny Rogers (the pitcher not the Gambler) for his awesome performance in the 2000 World Series. Ball four, Kenny. Ball four, you gutless bastard.

Well, as I thought about these poor scapegoats in the sporting world, my thoughts ran to an even stranger topic and I asked myself: Who is the most cursed athlete in the history of sports? The possibilities are limitless. Where should I begin? Steve Bartman (ok, not an athlete, but still cursed), Scott Norwood, Chris Webber? So many goats, so little time. But as I was thinking about cursed athletes I realized that this topic is fairly speculative. I guess it all depends on your point of view. After all, I love Bill Bucker. I’m a Mets fan. So instead of cursed athletes I will focus on a name so cursed that bestowing it upon a child is akin to naming him Satan. And that name, my friends, is Jason Williams.

Indeed, Jason Williams, with all of it's derivative spellings, is the most cursed name in the history of sports.

Jason Williams, retired NBA PG

Why is he cursed? Well, whenever you mentioned this guy while he was actually in the league people would automatically say, “who?” And the only way you could explain who he was is by saying something like, “you know, the Vanilla Ice wanna-be white guy who thinks he’s black that plays for the Kings and hoists up threes form six feet behind the line even when the shotclock still has 22 seconds left on it.” That, or you could just say "White Chocolate." The dude was such a waste of a number seven draft pick. His career was plagued by turnovers and bad tattoos. He has “white boy” tattooed across his fingers and a tattoo of a wolf playing basketball on his arm. Yes, he was a member of a championship team with Miami, but you give me D-Wade and Shaq and I think I could QB a team to victory, especially if Dick Bennet or Bennet Salvatore is officiating. Okay, so its really not such a curse to be this Jason Williams but the next ones are really going to drive my point home. I promise.

Jason Williams, retired because he sucks NBA and NBADL PG

This former NCAA All American and 2002 Naismith and Wooden College Player of the Year left Duke after his historic career and was the second overall pick by the Bulls. Before he could cement himself as a consistent starter for the Bulls, Williams' dumb ass suffered an unfortunate motorcycle accident that almost killed him. He wasn’t wearing a helmet, did not have a license to drive a motorcycle, and was violating his contract, which specifically forbade such activities. He shattered his pelvis, severed the main artery in his leg, and completely destroyed his knee. The Bulls waived him and he struggled to make it back to basketball and never regained the skills necessary to play on an NBA level. I think this Jason knew of his name's curse and tried to change it to just "Jay," but it fooled no one.

Jayson Williams, retired NBA PF

I know the spelling is different, but I think it is only because his parents didn’t know how to spell Jason when they filled out his birth certificate so it still counts. Williams was perennially a part of the All-NBA Interview first team because he had a bubbly personality and you never knew what crazy thing he was going to say next. He was a ferocious rebounder and better than average defender. Unfortunately for Williams he had a bad habit of carrying a loaded shotgun around while giving tours of his 30,000 square foot New Jersey mansion and accidentally shooting limo drivers in the face. He also had the bad habit of hanging around with the Harlem Globetrotters, who he then tried to coerse into lying about the shooting of said limo driver.  Come on, Jayson, what possible good can come from hanging with the Harlem Globetrotters? Williams also fired a semi-automatic weapon into an empty parking lot, smashed a beer mug over a bar patron’s head, had to be tasered by the NYPD because he was violent and suicidal in a hotel room, and punched a man in the face at a North Carolina bar. The sad thing is, I don’t think he has seen the last of his problems with the police. Good luck, Jayson. You need it.

Apparently there is a Jason Williams that was drafted this year in the NFL and another that plays in the NHL. Neither of these guys has fallen on hard times yet, but they will. I will keep you updated on the horrible luck that the name Jason Williams has brought to all athletes with the misfortune of being named this.

So my advice to anyone with the last name of Williams who is even thinking of naming your son Jason, or even Jayson for that matter; don't do it.  Try something else like Ted, or Doug.  Hell, even Venus and Serena would be better than Jason.  I'd bet your kid would even prefer Ricky to Jason.  At least there is the possibility that your son Ricky will be run out of the league because he can't stop getting high instead of going to jail because he blasted somebody's face off with a shotgun and then tried to cover it up before the police got there.  I wouldn't know but getting high sounds better, but maybe that's just me.

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