When you are a child, people are always filling your head full of idiotic crap and pie-in-the-sky philosophies of people who don't know what it's like to eat out of a dumpster like I do.  (M.C.  has learned that as long as it ain't "mossy", it can be eaten.) Yeah, I'm sure you heard some of these gems as a kid:

"If you can believe it, you can achieve it!"
"Follow your dreams!"
"You can accomplish anything if you put your mind to it!"

All of that is a bunch of turd.  My athleticism is so poor, I would have to be 6 foot 13 to dunk the ball.  And all the believin', dreamin' and puttin' of my mind to it cannot change that fact.  Nor can all of the weight loss, plyometrics, or jump-soles exercises.  I can't jump.  Period. 

Allow me, friends, to share an antidote.  I have a friend named Phil and he and the MC had the same 5th grade teacher, who we'll call Miss Donnely.  Miss Donnely thought it was okay to separate the children in the class into two sections, and I kid you not: The Good Kids, and The Bad Kids.  Somehow, I was mistakenly grouped with The Good Kids.  Phil was not so lucky.  One day, she taught Phil a valuable lesson.  When Phil walked into class in the morning, Ms. Donnely would not allow him to sit at his desk, instead making him stand for the entire day.  Why did she do this? So that Phil could get used to what it felt like to work at McDonald's as a burger flipper.  Needless to say, her point was made, and it was a good one:  If you don't want to have a crappy job, don't be one of the Bad Kids. 

Isn't it time we start telling the kids the truth?  I mean, kids need some good advice, like this:

Don't smoke crack.  Don't lose fights.  Don't get caught cheating.  Those are some diamonds for the kiddies.  But most of all, the best advice I can give to kids is this: Be good at math.  Above all, be good at math.

Look, it's a simple equation, pun intended.  You can go to 17 years of school and make $28,000 doing everything non-math related. (sociology, art, English, psychology, etc.) You can work 30 years and, if you are lucky, top out at $70,000.  OR, you can go to 17 years of school, be a math whiz, and START at $70,000 as an engineer, chemist, physicist, or computer genius.  Kids, don't worry about writing or reading that much.  That's why they invented spell-check.  Worry more about Pi and the quadratic equation:

You do the math, pun intended, kids.  If you aren't good at math, study harder.  If you don't like math, get hypnotized or something until you do.  Just please, for the love of heaven and earth, do something with math. For your own sake.   

Take it from me, freestyle rappin' don't pay, nor does flippin' burgers at the McD's.  Peace.   

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